Husband Material! Did you find yours?

I am aware we are in the new age of feminism and our (women) voices are heard louder than before.


I understand feminism stems from years of oppression and bias that we as women have been subjected to. If I had to sugar-coat oppression, I’d call it patriarchy. But let us for the sake of this blog step out of those shoes and try and look at things from the other side. 

I have for long been the person to be very careful not to make generalizing statements. Call me diplomatic, but I have faced the backlash for generalizing things. I haven’t perfected this yet, I will learn as I go. Not every individual is the same.           

And now, not every male. 

Here I would like to bring your attention to just the idea of marriages. I speak for myself, where I have met a lot of prospects for a husband. 8 out of 10 times, irrespective of whether my parents chose the boy or I did, the reasons for rejecting have been where either of the parties is objectified. I am no saint. I have been the one to say “he’s not husband material”. If I, as a woman, wasn’t okay with the idea of a male rejecting me based on caste, qualification, income, skin colour, accent (English), the comfort of having my own house, looking good, tall or short, fat or skinny or a hundred other reasons, then I don’t think I have the right to be doing that to the male counterpart.

The pressure on both the sexes is immense when either has to get married. I irk at the word material being tagged with husband especially in an Indian scenario. I had a few factors in mind when I was looking for a husband. I wanted a tall guy, I am 5’8”, why wouldn’t I? I wanted someone well settled, not getting into the specifics of what it is, but I did have a criterion on the income. I wanted someone who was extremely fit, the funny part is I am nowhere close to being fit at the moment. I wanted someone who had impeccable language because my idea of smart was being able to converse in English. I wanted a lot of things, and even if one criterion didn’t settle well, I was cool rejecting the proposal.

When my maturity kicked in, is when I realised what I was doing. I was OBJECTIFYING the husband even before he could be one in my life. I was looking for something and shaming a perfectly fine man for expectations I had. UNFAIR is what I was being. There were times I didn’t even give the person a fair chance. I cringe while I read what I have written. 

I mean that’s me, what about you?



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