Just checking in on you!

Doesn't it feel good to receive a message from a long lost friend when you are in the middle of a horrible day? One simple message that reads 'just checking in on you'. 

Things didn't go well, you have been trying to make it through a tough week. The situation is worsening day by day. You are not in a position to convey this to your near and dear ones. The pressure is accumulating. You are on the verge of blowing up like a volcano. You are trying so hard, so very hard to keep it together. 

Every single time you try, you are failing at it miserably. You want to bury yourself under a blanket and you keep wishing none of it was true. You hope that you will wake up and things will go back to being normal again. You wake up, only to realise the chaos is growing bigger. 

It feels like you are carrying this heavy weight on your shoulders. The pain is travelling down your spine as you try and walk. Your body is warmer than usual because you are under stress. You are unable to think clearly. You fake a smile with the utmost difficulty. You try and normalize things around you, but fail. 

Every single attempt you make at rising up, you are crushed. Every chance you give yourself at having a better day you are demotivated.

You feel helpless. You feel like you have tied yourself to a heavy rock and jumped into the deep waters. You feel like crying out loud, and yet you fail to emote and show the world your misery. You want someone to notice that you are not your usual self, but you don't want to say it out loud. You don't want to cry for help, but yet you wish someone would. You don't want to come across as weak, because expressing the need for help shows desperation is what was told to you. 

You have lost your appetite. You want to isolate yourself in a room, draw the curtains and hide from the world. Things are getting worse by the minute and so are your thoughts. For a split second, you wish you weren't alive on the face of this earth to witness this day. You come back to reality to think about all those who love you and gain some confidence about it. And while you think you realise maybe you are not that important after all. Maybe you will not be missed as much as you think they might. Maybe a few will be happy thinking losing you was good riddance. Maybe, it's ok for you TO DIE!

You are contemplating about what would be the least painful way, and you think otherwise and now you are willing to go all the way to inflict pain on yourself. You are willing to be harsh on your body because you think you deserve it. You think you are worthless. You feel the world doesn't need you. 

You are in the process of Dunzo-ing some rat poison. Litlle does the delivery executive know what you are up to. You have made your mind up. You have decided this is the best possible way to get out of this mess. You are about to pay for the order. 

"Beep!", your phone shows a notification.

You drag the screen down to see it is from a friend you least expected a message from. You haven't heard from her. She pings a 'Hi!'. You clear the notification and go back to your business. Another "Beep!". This time she writes, 'Just checking in on you.'

You wake up to a fresh start the next day and brave it through with no fear.

Note: You never know when, but when you read the signs of someone not doing okay one message from you can change the course of their life. Reach out when you can. 

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